“It’s your choice – we get house help or divorce!” Howsoever strange or ridiculous it may sound to some of us; this is an example of a true life – bedroom statement. Well, it is a confronting threatening discussion, but when put subtly and in serious discussion with your spouse, you can save a lot of tension in marriage.

Most of the working mothers are pressurized at work and more at home, an average working mother does 2-4 times more work than her male counterpart. Getting some help in our lives helps to free some time for those precious relationships that we work for.

Don’t think about the extra 100 -200 dollars you would be shelving off every month or two for the house help, think of that as an investment to your time. The invaluable time that gets released to you to spend with your family. To go to the soccer game with your kids and not feel guilty of not cleaning the bathroom this weekend. Or just watching a late night movie with your spouse and not worrying about scrubbing the stains off the counter and cabinets in the kitchen. If some help gets the tension and stress off you, it’s worth it.

Where to start?

• Talk to you spouse about your needs and how much you can spare per month to get professional house help.
• Look up yellow pages or local ads for maids and cleaning services.
• But the one I trust most, ask your friends or neighbors. Nothing better if you can find some regular house help through reference.

Todays’ thought from Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
“Happiness is not to be achieved at the command of emotional whims. Happiness is not the satisfaction of whatever irrational wishes you might blindly attempt to indulge. Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy–a joy without penalty or guilt, a joy that does not clash with any of your values and does not work for your own mind’s fullest power, not the joy of faking reality, but of achieving values that are real, not the joy of a drunkard, but of a producer. Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seeks nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions.”

Do you hear such questions ring in your mind?

• Why can’t I do this right?
• Why did it happen this way, if only I had …?
• There are so many things to do today, I don’t think I can do all of them.

I think, right now somewhere someone’s brain (or many of us) is working on these pressurizing and self-deprecating questions.

For once, let’s start thinking on these questions:

• I think out of these three things, I am sure I can do the first two.
• Oh, something went wrong here, no problem, I learnt a lot today. I shall do this to make it right again.
• There are so many things to today. I might not be able to do everything all at once, but perhaps if I prioritize a few, I shall be able to get some of them off my list right now.

How does that sound? Uplifting for sure.
Positive thinking can make us see through anything, any situation. And what energy we feel when we say to ourselves – I know I can do it!

Shweta L Khare
July 2006