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5 Career Questions that you must ask yourself this New Year

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Is my work satisfying?
How do you feel getting up in the morning and getting ready for work? Are you excited to be at a place which sparks the creative you, a feeling that you could make a difference today?
Do you feel happy to be working where you are or where your career is headed?
If yes, you are in a great career and job. Give it your best and the best shall come to you. Be positively productive at work and be a team player – two essential ingredients to a successful profession.
If not, pause now and think what cold possibly make you happier at work or give you that enthused feeling to get up everyday and contribute your best to the world – everyday.

Is my family/personal life better because of my career or is it suffering because of excessive/stressful time at work?
Whatever one says that achieving a work-life balance is not possible in the 21st century, there it not much fulfillment at work if your family life suffers or you each evening you get home with a guilt feeling of not being there for your kids for most of the week.
If you feel something is missing and this career is not helping you enjoy your life at the fullest – pause – think and evaluate – there is always a way. Yes compromises and trade-offs would be there but evaluate your priorities first.
What truly makes you content and happier, and how you can contribute to your family’s happiness and satisfaction?

How are my Skills today and what am I doing to develop new ones everyday?
Have you recently taken a new course or class that hones your present skills or made an effort to acquire a new one? Have you enrolled at your company’s regular certification courses or plan on enrolling one for this year?
If the answer is in negative – it is time to pay heed to this essential career development step. Technology develops fast and old skills are getting older faster than ever before. Be proactive towards your career – evaluate how you see yourself rising to a higher position than you are today or just be ready to learn something new this year.

Am I spending time to take care of my health?
Is the stress at work taking a toll on you? Are you finding no time to walk outside and breathe the fresh air or just relax when your body feels like? Or just you have not time left after a days work to take care of how healthy your eating habits are or finding any time for the gym?
If the answer is no, then it is time to pause and scrutinize your routine.
How much significant is your work if you suffer a major ailment down the road just because of neglect towards your health?

Does my work make someone else’s life better somewhere?
Don’t just work for the sake of being there 9 to 5 or more or just for the money. Of course, if need be this is what you have to do, but pause for a minute take time to evaluate the bigger picture. Is your work making someone’s life better somewhere? Are you helping the society in some way? Does the bigger picture make sense when you fit the pieces together?
If yes, feel proud and happy that your work is valuable today and would matter to the world even if only a small part of it – but it matters.
If not – pause and think – could you do something either in your present work or something beyond that would make a difference to someone or to the world? If you can, you’ll be even prouder of yourself and everyday getting up for work would have an energizer effect on you, because you as a single soul can make a big difference somewhere – all you need to do is to find out how?

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How Good are you at Connecting with your Team? – An Essential Tip for a Successful Leader

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No matter how many ideas are shared on good leadership skills, I believe a good leader is one who can respect, connect and also influence the people he/she leads. And of course how well you can articulate your thoughts and future actions to your team, good communication skills and good people connection are fundamental qualities of a good leader.

There’s nothing more demoralizing than a leader who can’t clearly articulate why we’re doing what we’re doing.
- James Kouzes and Barry Posner

Have you heard or read Martin Luther King’s speech “I Have a Dream”? The speech is remarkable and what makes it truly remarkable was that Dr King was able to present the thoughts of millions together articulately and all the listeners had the same thought that day – “That is exactly what my dream is.” He appealed to the common man’s thoughts and dreams and he was able to emphasize this one thought effectively.
These are the elements of an impressive, persuasive, and influential speech.

Kouzes and Posner in their brilliantly inspirational book “The Leadership Challenge” articulate these thoughts so well. I quote them here, “Dr. King’s “I have a Dream” speech illustrates how the ability to exert an enlivening influence is rooted in fundamental values, cultural traditions, personal conviction, and a capacity to use words to create positive images of the future. To enlist others, leaders need to bring the vision to life. Leaders have to animate the vision and make manifest the purpose so that others can see it, hear it, touch it, feel it. In making the intangible vision tangible, leaders ignite constituents’ flames of passion.
And there is something else you can learn when you actually listen to King’s speech. What you’ll hear is an audience that was participating. The people in the crowd that day were clapping and shouting back, “Yes,” and “Oh, yes,” and “um-hmm,” and “Hear, hear.” They were fully engaged. It wasn’t a one way street. King was in a conversation with them about their lives and about their dreams. They could see the dream he was envisioning and they were affirming it. They were telling him with their shouts and nods and claps and responses, “You have heard me, and you are talking to me about what I long for. You are saying what I am feeling.” Their shouts and claps prove that Dr. King’s dream was not his dream alone. It was the people’s vision. It was a shared vision.”

Some Tips towards Successful Leadership
If you are in a leadership position in your company, can you recall when was the last time you truly connected with your team, not in team meetings but when your team was able to share with you their thoughts and ideas on a larger scale, towards the main vision of your company or towards their career enhancement goals?

  • If you are not doing it frequently, perhaps it is time for a resolution – to make time to inspire and admire your team, spare time routinely to motivate your group but first get to know them.
  • If you wish to be a good leader, think first about your role model, list the reasons why you admire him or her. Evaluate how you can emulate the qualities that you marvel at and use them in your daily leadership roles.
  • Always put your team first; never hesitate to give your people the credit they deserve. Give them the best and in return they shall give you their best. Develop strong peoples skills and encourage two-way communication and you shall see exemplary results in all fields.
  • Do not execute performance reviews as a task to be checked off your list at the end of the year. Involve two-way communication and frequent meetings to analyze your team’s performance.

The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say “I.” And that’s not because they have trained themselves not to say “I.” They don’t think “I.” They think “we”; they think “team.” They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don’t sidestep it, but “we” gets the credit. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.
- Peter Drucker

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How to respond to a Bad Performance Review

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It is indeed frustrating to see a bad performance review when you were not expecting one. Getting a bad performance review is stressful and not something to be ignored and brushed under the carpet.

Howsoever rattled or tormented you are feeling now, it is time to plan diligently on what to do next. Do not take an unfair performance review lying down and feeling there is nothing you can do about it; it is time to act but good planning must precede action. There is always a possibility to change the decision in your favor.

Here are some steps to help you towards your next plan and action:

Initiate further Meetings to Clarify Review

Contact your boss to talk to him personally on the performance review. Not over phone or Email but a face to face meeting is recommended to initiate clarifications on the review. In this meeting try not to be on the defensive and do not let emotions overcome you.

Meeting preparation: Before this meeting take time to carefully analyze the performance review you have received and also research on company’s policies on how to respond to bad performance review. Often organizations have a comprehensive HR webpage on the intranet or don’t feel shy to contact the HR on tips on how to respond to the performance review.

It is very important to first acquaint yourself with the review policies and process, prepare a list of points on which you were assessed during the review and compare with the goals and expectations previously set for you for the year.

Preparing in advance will make this meeting more meaningful and successful. Just a random discussion might get you nowhere – prepare and present facts during this meeting. Don’t arrange for this session in a hurry, think about the time you need to prepare and research for the details and then suggest a time frame to your boss to discuss the performance review. Keep in mind that it should not be delayed for a long time. Ask your boss if he is on vacation in the coming days or not, if yes, then schedule this meeting before he leaves for one.

When to request meeting - Make sure that the boss is not in a hurry to end this meeting and getting ready to attend another one.
It could be your one last chance to change the review in your favor, prepare well beforehand.
 

Discussing with your Boss

Use effective communication skills during the discussion with your boss. You must prepare before.

[Read more tips here: Are you Assertive or Timid at Work?]

Some tips on this crucial discussion with your manager:

- What’s the problem? Make sure that there was no miscommunication towards expectations put upfront. Is the assessment / review based on the goals put forward at the beginning of the year, or were there some expectations you were truly unaware of? (See Paraphrase the Accusations topic below)

- Defense – but on the right foot. Defend your case logically and present written evidence in support of your argument, do not get emotional or agitated in such meetings.

- Curb emotions. Howsoever you have the urge to vent your bridled emotions on an unfair review, do not do so. If you have mentally prepared yourself on remaining calm and taking notes during this meeting, you can get favorable results out of this meeting.

 

Paraphrase the Accusations

Miscommunication often results in a bad performance review, it could be on your part your boss’s or comments through other managers which have filtered in the wrong sense to your immediate supervisor. Spend time with your boss to clarify the accusations and also ask for specific instances where you have been accused of negligence or poor performance. For example, if your boss has written in the review of delayed project submission or under performance, do ask him to pinpoint the dates or the projects he/she is referring to.
 

Follow-up on the Meeting

If you and your boss are reaching arbitration on re-evaluating the performance review, ask your boss to schedule a quick follow-up meeting within a week or so. If your boss has agreed to change the performance review based on the discussion and facts you have presented so far, use your best persuasion and negotiation skills requesting him/her to incorporate positive feedback.
 

Don’t think of Quitting on one Bad Performance Review

Bosses come and go. Teams dissolve and the company goes through various reorgs. A bad review does not mean it is time for you to start looking for a new job. Analyze the situation and see if there are some valid points perhaps you can do your best to perform better next time. Else if there have been unjustified accusations that reaching out more to the manager and the HR could be a possible solution.
Just remember to be more proactive towards your career in future.
 

When to let it go

If you think you have been wrongfully accused and there is no way that your boss is ready to change or discuss the performance review, then think about the worst case scenario.

- What is the worst that can happen with such a performance review?

- What would happen if you just let it go?

If the answers do not bother you and you truly love your job, think about getting over it and trying to see the positive side – perhaps the others in your team have got worse reviews, maybe it is not you it your boss who just has to be a terrible critic at the workplace.

  • Discussing with your career coach or your colleagues in this issue is also a suggested step. Perhaps your co-workers have received bad reviews from this manager before and maybe it is his/her working style to see a better performance in employees (though not a good way for sure!). A second opinion and a second look might clarify things more than how you have been looking at it so far.
  • Having a positive attitude also helps – once you have accepted that there were some areas where you need improvement, move on and take on the challenge to do better. Make your goal to excel at your next performance review.

But if it is an unfair review, then definitely do not let it go just because you do not feel like fighting back.

Don’t let it go before a good discussion (not a fight!).

 

Consequences of a Bad Review

But be cautious of all consequences, if you cannot afford to be out of job or be in the bad books of management of HR re-think your steps towards the protest. It is a good idea to talk to your colleagues who have been in the company longer to find out if there were any actions taken against those who “revolted” against a bad performance review.

 

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A Book Review – Lessons on Leadership: The 7 Fundamental Management Skills for Leaders at All Levels

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This book by Jack Stahl, former Revlon CEO and former president of Coca-Cola, is presented in a very simple to understand style that offers some essential lessons on leadership with valuable framework on leadership, indispensable skills for someone to have even in a non-corporate world.

Stahl in an interview with Business Week says, “Leadership is a bundling of very concrete action steps that can be taken and that what’s I have tried to outline in Lessons on Leadership.”

The book progresses step-by-step leading you from valuable information on how to actively develop your leadership and management skills to people management and financial policies and models that are appropriate for your business.
Some of the examples that Stahl gives from his Coco-Cola days and Revlon experience are insightful and offer the first hand cognitions on leadership qualities and people management skills.

I loved the “leadership insights” and the “key points” or the highlights all through the various chapters. These are simple and quite often known words of wisdom in the corporate world but often it is the simple things that we miss out in dealing with large organizations and projects.
Use these simple tips at all management and entrepreneurial levels – put them up in a poster format or just as reminders on your laptop or handheld devices, you’ll never go wrong with these, some of these I list here – leaving a strong desire for want for more!

  • A modest view of your future brings modest results and rewards. Think
    big and give people the opportunity to win big.
  • Prioritize your potential marketing programs and then focus on quality execution on the programs you have selected. This will maximize impact on the marketplace and the growth of your brands.
  • Be disciplined about not committing resources to low-return capital projects and investments.
  • Listen closely to learn about the little things you can do as an added service to your customer. They may be big to them.

 

But note that these values not only for your walls as a motivating adornment but must be truly used daily in developing your management and leadership abilities.

The book discusses the seven fundamental management skills for leaders at all levels. Whether you are a budding entrepreneur or at any level of management ladder in your organization, reading these valuable tips from one of the stalwarts of management success presents a marvelous opportunity that you don’t want to miss.

Careerbright – Career Article and Information for Professionals and Working Women
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Need for Better Communications Skills in a Collaborative Workplace

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This decade has seen a remarkable change in the work culture in the Silicon Valley, global teams working in a collaborative workspace, virtual working and more than ever before outsourcing and freelance contracts to remote  employees.
Is this the end of the cubicles?
Diversity in teams and working across the time zones may be the norm of our times.
In such a scenario, employers must seriously implement effective  team collaboration to gain a competitive advantage over others who don’t.

In an article in the San Jose Mercury News about the new trend of Valley companies dump cubicles for open office spaces, the authors Mark Boslet and Katherine Conrad elaborate on the new accelerated productivity at the workplace:

“Productivity also is up, said Larry Matarazzi, Cisco’s senior director of workplace resources. Ted Baumuller, a senior manager in Cisco’s information technology department, agrees. He said the time it takes to make decisions has been cut by 25 to 30 percent because it’s easier to round up the team, and collegial relationships have improved by working in a more open environment.

Baumuller believes he is much more accessible now that he no longer has a door. His office is wherever he wants it to be – from a couch to a chair by the window, known as a touch-down site. Workers need only look across the floor to find him.”



Employees and management need to emphasize better communication skills in this new environment which enforces or encourages more collaborative working. Workers need to be more tolerant and respectful towards different work styles and cultures.

Some tips to help you be more effective in a collaborative workplace:

  • Listen first, talk next.
    Emphasize more on listening and clarifying the issues, arrive at a conclusion only when you know that you have paraphrased the queries or concerns and your colleague agrees to the same. In short – Listen, paraphrase and clarify. Follow this simple rule to avoid misunderstanding and mis-communication.
  • Be open to suggestions.
    In a collaborative workplace more interaction is encouraged on personal basis than going back and forth over emails. Suggestions and discussions over your coding style or management style could be coming in more and more with this approachable style of the new workplace. Be open to suggestions, be patient and control retorts and instant feedbacks. It’s hard to eat your words up, and if you feel more comfortable with the Email decision making then use it more as your preferred way of communication to colleagues and management.
Question: Are you managing or working with remote teams and manager? What has been your experience?


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Thriving in the Global Workplace

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Globalization brings in many challenges and opportunities to the 21st century workforce. Apart from the work related travel, one of the major challenges today is efficient collaboration between teams working on different time zones around the world.
The Challenges in a Global Workplace

Team Management
If a team on a single project is working in two different locations, the challenge is scheduling meetings and work allocation. Often times the work is being done at parallel at two locations and the convergence at the near end of the project becomes a mess. Long distance employee relations and team management presents a challenge to many managers. The solution to this challenge could be a better collaboration effort by management and frequent information exchange. Using virtual communications like webinars and real-time internet webcasts enables continuous interaction while working in different time zones. Also all companies who collaborate globally must train managers around these issues to ensure smooth project execution.

Communication
Communication also hinders some information exchange, especially in those countries where there is less English speaking population. Good communications skills are essential in today’s global workplace culture. Learning a new language would add on to your credentials if you are exploring jobs abroad and even in multinational companies candidates knowing two or more languages would be preferred in certain sectors. Not only on the soft skills area, having different styles of coding also adds to the technical management challenges. The management must enforce a common protocol across teams and enable effective collaboration tools across workplaces. Continuous training and experience sharing must also be integral to a company’s policy.

Dan Mummery, a frequent lecturer on outsourcing topics says,
“Clear communication is extremely important, both within the organization and outside of it. In some cases, in the beginning there can be a fundamental mismatch between what is being promised and what is actually sold. It is imperative to start off with a clear understanding – otherwise you are doomed.”
Advantages of Globalization
The global nature of work that beckons us today and in the future brings forward many new possibilities and also better economic growth for the developing countries and also a reduction in costs for the developed nations looking for outsourcing the work around the world. It makes us all global citizens and perhaps may bring forth more understanding and tolerance towards different cultures. Collaborations and knowledge sharing have been on the high curve since we all started working globally. Working globally also encourages and motivates the employees and management to enhance their current technical and leadership skills.
The opportunities and challenges are many, this century would be focusing more on how to manage and increase productivity of a global workforce.
(The following thoughts contributed by Ashwin Lal)
Tom Peters, a highly respected management guru, exemplified the truly global nature of most modern day work when he stated, “Do what you do best and outsource the rest.” He went further by expounding, “Anything except intellectual capital is subject to outsourcing.”
Outsourcing in many ways has come to define what is meant by a global workforce. In a none-too-distant past, it was often a safe tool in the hands of typically Western Management to reduce costs. However, as times change, the benefits of cost arbitrage are fast being outweighed by the material and process improvements being brought about by working with best-of-breed vendors. Now the customer-vendor relationships are fast translating into mutually beneficial partnerships rather than just being driven by commercial motives. And it is in this new context one needs to view the roles of not just the organizations involved but also of the individuals who work and make a difference at the micro-level.
While the roles and deliverables of organizations and individuals keep evolving at an ever-growing speed, the attitudes and mentalities take a little longer to accommodate those changes.
There is a pertinent need to constantly educate oneself and one’s employees to be more sensitive to foreign cultures and behavior. That’s perhaps one of the foremost requirements of a global worker. A good study of not just the project/work background but also that of the mindsets, customs and environment of the partner’s workplace, city and even country is a mandatory preparation. This ultimately will lead not just to a better understanding of the work characteristics but also to a more harmonious relationship with the partners. Just the way people greet each other when they meet differs so widely across geographies as we observe different cultures from Japan to Saudi Arabia to Spain to America. It’s not too difficult to imagine the positive impression one creates in the first meeting by displaying the interest and efforts one has taken to embrace the subtle nuances of the new place and people one is interacting with.
No perceptible change or relocation is without its fair share of inconveniences – travel, food, weather, language – they all form a variety of reasons why stress may be an invariable part of a global worker’s lifestyle. An important antidote to such apparent distractions would be to see them not as displeasing problems but as surmountable challenges. To see them as opportunities to learn and grow not just as a professional but as a human being. It’s up to us to decide whether the change has to make us bitter….or better.
Are you ready to Join the Global Workplace?

The generation X has and continues to pave the path towards a successful global work culture and the Millennial generation is ready to take on the challenge that the global workplace offers, with improved communication technology, the world continues to shrink enabling 24/7 quality work and services to serve humanity.

To be successful in the global market keep abreast of the new technology and have a flexible attitude towards new ideas and tolerance in working with different cultures. Career coaches and experts/mentors with experience in the global workplace management can be invaluable to the new generation.

Despite the challenges and problems of working globally, the advantages are tremendous in respect to the development of an individual to the whole organization. The global workplace and the global worker are here to stay and thrive!
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Are you Assertive or Timid at Work?

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The dictionary defines an assertive person as one who is:
1. Confidently aggressive or self-assured; positive: aggressive; dogmatic:

2. Having a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma.

However a better definition I found for this term was here; to quote: “Assertiveness is an attitude and a way of relating to the outside world, backed up by a set of skills for effective communication. To be truly assertive, you need to see yourself as being of worth and as having a right to enjoy life. At the same time, you value others equally, respecting their right to an opinion and to enjoy themselves.”

In today’s workplace where the three generations, generation X, generation Y or the Millennials and the baby boomers are working together in the same environment, some personality clashes are bound to happen. One generation or a group of workers might be more aggressive or speed driven than the others; while the other generation might bring in more stability at work with cautious decisions and reserved attitude. Although these traits are important at all levels, make sure that your quiet working habits are not considered unconfident or timid. You will move forward in a competitive market with positive and mindful assertiveness. Assertiveness is critical to career success.

It is essential to focus on this skill development by all employees and managers at a workplace and assertiveness should not be gender biased.

 

Assertive Women Vs Assertive Men

Some common misconceptions on assertiveness that I have often heard around:
“being assertive is not polite” or “people consider assertiveness in a woman as being aggressive and in a man good business skills”.

Taking in consideration the second thought – Though across several cultures this still holds true, but I feel women need to be more assertive in today’s competitive workplace. Here I would like to assert the point that being assertive is not being aggressive, to be assertive is a sign of a strong personality and leadership skill. Some have it inborn some have to acquire it.

A BusinessWeek article says:

When men blow their tops at work they appear authoritative, but women – from trainees to CEOs – are penalized for such behavior, new research finds. in studies published in the March 2008 issue of Psychological Science, about 400 males and female professionals watched video dramatizations of botched office situations. When women got angry, they were overwhelmingly seen as incompetent , out of control, and worth less pay than their male counterparts. As for men who got mad: “People assume it’s reasonable.”

On gender based assertiveness classification, an article in the New York Times says,
“They (women) are expected to be nurturing, but seen as ineffective if they are too feminine, she said in a speech last week at Cornell. They are expected to be strong, but tend to be labeled as strident or abrasive when acting as leaders. “Women have to choose between being liked but not respected, or respected but not liked,” she (Joan Williams author of the book “Unbending Gender”) said.
While some researchers, like those at Catalyst and WorkLife Law, tend to paint the sweeping global picture — women don’t advance as much as men because they don’t act like men — other researchers narrow their focus.
Victoria Brescoll, a researcher at Yale, made headlines this August with her findings that while men gain stature and clout by expressing anger, women who express it are seen as being out of control, and lose stature.”

I agree to the point that women do not advance as much as their male counterparts because they lack assertiveness and the positive aggression that marks them as leaders and pioneers in their specific fields.
To me assertiveness is using your skills towards a goal or task or influencing a decision with mindfulness and focus. Positive and healthy aggression strengthens your progress towards achieving the same.

In the book titled: Why Good Girls Don’t Get Ahead But Gutsy Girls Do by Kate White, the strategy number 6 talks about what it means to be an assertive girl.

Strategy # 6: A Gutsy Girl Asks for What She Wants
It is not easy to ask for what you want. Unfortunately, you might have been brought up thinking that you should not have to ask. You might think that if you work hard, you will be rightfully rewarded. You might also be hesitant to ask because you do not wish to appear greedy or a little obnoxious.
The truth is, to get what you want you have to ask for it. Furthermore, your boss would actually appreciate if you do so. Of course, you have to learn to ask for what you want in the right way.
Here are some principles you can use when you want to ask for what you want:

  • Discover the Other Person’s Secret Greed.

When you ask for something you need, ask it in such a way that you seem to be addressing the other person’s needs as well.

  • Ask Fast.

Speak quickly and clearly when making your request. It might be best to rehearse what you’re going to say before you say it.

  • Sell Yourself Hard.

When making your request, give the reasons why you deserve what you’re asking for. Talk about your accomplishments.

  • Ask for the Business.

Make sure you have made your request. Pop the question.

Some tips that might help you be positively assertive:

Be Clear in your Communication with Colleagues/Managers at Workplace

Miscommunication often results in unsatisfactory worker relations or poor delivery during project execution. Be clear, be specific and don’t hesitate to clarify the requirements or expectations of your work.

Define Deadlines and Initiate Written Commitments

From an employee’s or a manager’s perspective it is very important to get written commitments and also clearly define deadlines for projects. These are essential managerial skills but often clear communication lacks between managers and employees. As an employee if you feel that the deadlines outlined for a project are unattainable or unreasonable, be ready to communicate assertively and always have a relevant explanation ready for this discussion with your boss.

 

Be Assertive – not Dominating or Difficult to Work with

Be aware of the difference between assertiveness and being difficult to work with. Of course, the 21st century workplace works well with assertive people but dominating or difficult people will always be scorned at.

While asserting your ideas at your workplace be mindful of your colleagues working habits especially since we all work in a much global environment these days. Evaluate your expectations first before bringing it to the table. Be a team player and avoid personality clashes; being assertive is not about having a dominating personality, but knowing how to express a demand or execute a task by getting your thoughts across clearly and mindfully.

Having good communications skills is extremely essential for your success in today’s workplace, invest time and energy in acquiring these skills and see yourself moving up the success ladder faster than you anticipate. Also it creates a healthy friendly work environment when you are able to communicate with ease and effectiveness with your colleagues and managers.

Some quotes on assertiveness that best describes positive assertiveness:

“The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others. ”
– Sharon Anthony Bower

“To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so many fail to assert rights to which they are perfectly entitled — because a right is a kind of power but they are too lazy or too cowardly to exercise it. The virtues which cloak these faults are called patience and forbearance.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche

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Stress Management for Working Women

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Why only for working women you may ask – well, I feel working women have to manage more stress – be it meeting deadlines at work when you have a sick child at home, managing kids vacation time when they have none of their own or just day to day juggle in being a better performer at work, maintaining healthy relationship with spouse and managing household chores. This is all in addition to being a chauffeur to your kids for the soccer and dance practice and being the family’s PR and party planner.

Are we yet again talking about life-work balance issues or is this something different? (OK this question I asked myself when writing this post).
Yes, it does relate to efficient life-work management but emphasis here would be on stress management, the post is not discussing how to be great at achieving the balance but assuming that you are stuck (or satisfied with) the situation; but when you feel stressed what to do about it?

Manage your Finances and Treat Yourself
Or at least have some control on what is the take home and what you can have as “spend-it-on-yourself”. See if you can afford half a day at a spa or just treating yourself the best at home, treat yourself to relaxation and doing the same in a routine will help you rewind better.
Fragrance, sound or sensation whatever soothes you the best, just use it in everyday life and watch the stress melt away.

Get House-Help
Don’t think about the extra 100 -200 dollars you would be shelving off every month or two for the house help, think of that as an investment to your time. The invaluable time that gets released to you to spend with you family -to go to the soccer game with your kids and not feel guilty of not cleaning the bathroom this weekend. Or just watching a late night movie with your spouse and not worrying about scrubbing the stains off the counter and cabinets in the kitchen. If some help gets the tension and stress off you, it’s worth it.

On Cooking
Work on quick healthy meals for the family, though you may be tempted to take-out or do a pizza night here and then, some quick easy healthy meals are just few minutes away (thanks to Rachael Ray, we get to see these most often on the TV or just perhaps grab her books).
Prepare some basic stuff during the weekend or use the crock-pot in the morning to have a delicious soup or chicken ready when you come back home.

Dropping / Picking Up Kids from School
Explore carpool options, use your spouse’s help when you are tied up at work, just don’t be in frenzy and in a rush around, note that stress and speed together could result in a negative outcome far worse than not being there to pick up the kids on time.

Prioritizing and Learning to say NO
Women are born multitaskers and we often bask in the glory of being efficient multitaskers. But often the toll is heavy on us on agreeing to many different tasks at the same time and our natural nature of accommodating the many requests. When stressed learn to say “No” and learn to prioritize time and tasks.

Sparkling House – Grumpy Mom Vs Messier House – Happy Mom
Women tend to stress a lot on getting the house mess and dust free. When stressed at work for deadlines or otherwise, give priority to your “me” time first and cleaning comes second. Doing it all will only increase stress, just learn to relax and for the time being ignore the mess if you can. When you find some free time tackle the mess.

The bottom line is — to manage it all stress-free is not possible at all times, but some efforts on a regular basis can help the working mother be happier at work and efficient at managing family demands.

This article on Working Women and Stress By Naomi G. Swanson provides a brief overview of occupational stress as it affects working women and presents research on approaches for reducing the negative effects of job stress.

How do you feel about stress management in a day to day life as a working mother? Pls share tips by adding to the comments.


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Filed Under: Career Self-Help, Career Woman Tagged With: , , , ,

How to Handle Work-Life Balance Questions during an Interview

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If you have some priorities in life regarding flexible working or part-time work, it is good to inform of your expectations during an interview, because if you are unable to convey to the recruiters/hiring managers to what you truly want, a few months or year down the new job, you might not be satisfied with the working conditions and not able to handle the stress at work and managing family. Job hopping can be stressful and also may not be possible at all in case of a bad economy.

Diplomatic answers to this question could be in your favor when you are looking forward to the job; before an interview spend some research time to go through the website of a company and also if you know of someone in the company ask them how flexible the company is towards working flexible hours, telecommuting and working part-time.

Also note that there are many questions that you are not required to answer – these fall in the illegal or inappropriate questions. Here are some examples of such questions:

Some options to consider while asking for a better life-work balance
First review the company policies online or through an acquaintance in the company (I emphasize this point again; some time spent on research can result in acing that interview and also in getting what you are looking for).

If the company feels the right fits for your needs, ask questions around:

  • Working flexible hours – for example can you start work early in the morning and leave around mid afternoon covering around 8-9 hours of time at work?
  • Working from home – how feasible it is for you to work two to three days from home if that suits you the best?
  • Working as a full-time employee but on reduced hours – can the project hiring an employee who is available at work for only 60 to 80 percent of the regular full time working hours? Make sure that you have asked about the company policies on retaining the benefits if you work for fewer hours than as required in a full-time job.

During an interview while on this question you can also inform the interviewers that having a good work-life balance makes you a more productive and stress-free person. Your performance enhances and with a focused mind you would be able to deliver better results working in a team or as on your own. Most companies and individuals appreciate your honest approach. It is also on how effectively you market yourself during an interview. It is just not about what you want but also on what the person on the other side of the table desires.

Make sure that you have come across as an efficient candidate and someone who they can rely on for better results over time. Once they see the value in hiring you your needs could be well taken care of with little efforts and demands from your side.


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Working with a Difficult Boss

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Early 2011, Careerbuilder.com conducted workplace bullying survey based on information from 5,600 full-time workers nationwide (US) and found that 27% of workers reported they have felt bullied in the workplace with the majority neither confronting nor reporting the bully.

Have you had a bully or a difficult boss? Do you feel unhappy to be working for someone who you’d rather avoid? You’re not alone, as you would have figured out from the above survey that there is a good chance that 1 in 4 employees at the workplace might be in a “bullied” situation.

At times it is not easy to wriggle out of the workplace or change divisions/team when your relations with your boss are strained. Under such circumstances you have to learn to live and thrive under a difficult boss. Note that though you cannot always change your circumstances but our attitudes can make a huge difference on how we deal with them.

Here are some tips to make life easy for you, use them as the situation requires and you can find yourself in a less stressful workplace even when working in a formidable environment:

Be Proactive towards your Career

Lamenting and complaining about your boss and also feeling stressed at work usually results in a below-standard performance. If you are working in a group or under a boss under strained relations and there is no way in near future to get out of this impasse, do not buckle under pressure. The best way to thrive through it all is to be proactive towards your career. Bosses come and go and teams reorganize often, your skills and performance speaks for you. Keep focus on your personal/professional development when the going gets tough and true recognition and adulation will follow.

Don’t Ignore the Situation

Though you may be terribly stressed out and just don’t want to discuss the boss-related stress with your friends or family, the situation must not be ignored.
To protect your job, to have a healthy work environment and to have peace of mind at work, you must try your best to come to a solution on best you can work under a bully boss or see that you do not get bullied by him/her.
Don’t brush aside the possibilities of informing the upper management or the HR on your boss’s behavior but first consider how you can use these tips to get the situation under control, through good communication and showing a stronger personality.

Communicate Effectively

The importance of good communication skills can never be overemphasized; you have to learn to be a good communicator in every aspect of life. One of the important aspects of being a good communicator is also to be a good listener. Listen first, think second and act third.
Often the not-so-good relations with your boss is the result of miscommunication – it could be from either side, but since you are responsible for your actions, first analyze yourself – it is your boss or is it you who has been unable to communicate effectively.

Be Assertive

While being assertive in stating a problem with your boss or in case you have been accused of negligence or slackness at work, work towards identifying and clearly stating the issues and as far as possible asking in written to specify which areas you have been accused of.

  • Don’t be submissive, don’t be a victim, the more you learn to stand up and address the issues the more you will feel confident about yourself and also learn to be assertive especially when dealing with a difficult boss.
  • Also it is important that you address any injustice or bad behavior with a strong personality. You have to let the other person know that you are not taking any false assaults and demeaning behavior lying down.

When stressed at work because of such behavior on part of a colleague or a boss, you must inform the HR personnel and also upper management. The more such issues come to their notice, more are the chances of appropriate action against a bully boss.

Avoid Confrontation

In most confronting situations at the workplace, it is best to keep ones calm and not be on the defensive immediately.

  • Don’t immediately jump on the defensive by counterattacking or rationalizing.
  • Don’t play the blame game and try your best to turn around the situation by acting coolly.
  • Do your best efforts to strike a conversation and ask your boss to state clearly or paraphrase his/her disconcerting verbal abuse.
  • Learn how to respond non-defensively and avoid using words or actions that you could later regret.

Reporting Boss Behavior to HR

Working with a difficult supervisor affects your performance, your mental well-being and often makes you hate your workplace. One study suggests that rapport with the boss largely predicts incidence of depression and other psychiatric problems.
If your boss is having such negative affects on your work-life, it is important to get this across to the higher management and Human Resources department. If you hesitate long enough from reporting such issues to the HR it might mean escalation to your problems and eventually termination if the boss feels he/she is not getting along with you.

Usually suggested as the last resort towards coping with a bad boss, there are some circumstances where the HR reporting approach might back fire at the employee:

  • You may get infamous as a whiner or a back-biter
  • If the HR personnel are at close professional terms with your manager, the word may straight go out to him and may result in a bad performance review

But these issues must not deter you if you feel strongly about the problem. Furthermore there could have been more incidences reported against him that you are not aware of. Careful well documented incidents are taken up by the Human Resources and if there were more reports of similar nature strict action could soon be enforced against an abusive manager.

HR Daily Advisor reports on legislative bills against workplace bully managers:

Bullybusters.org, the website for the National Coordinators of U.S. State Legislative Initiatives to Stop Workplace Bullying, notes that 13 states have now introduced (some more than once) antibullying legislation since 2003. In 2007 alone, eight states introduced such bills, which would hold employers accountable (“vicariously liable”) for workplace bullying.
Question: If you have ever worked with a bully boss, how did you manage your work relations with him/her?



Some Important Info to know about Workplace Bullying:

On May 12, 2010, the New York State Senate passed the “Healthy Workplace” Bill (S. 1823-B). The legislation would amend the New York Labor Law and provide employees who are subjected to an abusive work environment with a direct civil cause of action, and provide an avenue for employees who are not otherwise discriminated against on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin or age, to seek redress against such treatment. An “abusive work environment” is defined as “ a workplace in which an employee is subjected to abusive conduct that is so severe that it causes physical or psychological harm.” “Abusive conduct” is defined as conduct, with malice, taken against an employee by an employer or another employee in the workplace, that a reasonable person would find to be hostile, such as repeated infliction of verbal abuse (e.g., derogatory remarks, insults and epithets); verbal or physical conduct that a reasonable person would find threatening, intimidating or humiliating; or the gratuitous sabotage or undermining of an employee’s work performance. A single act would not constitute abusive conduct unless the act in question is especially severe or egregious, similar to the Title VII “hostile environment” standard.

(Read more at: Seyfarth.com)

Read more about this bill and the updates at: http://www.healthyworkplacebill.org/

 

What’s your opinion on workplace bullying? Share your thoughts in comments below.

 

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