Riley’s Exponential Living program is a ground-breaking initiative that helps individuals create balance among life’s key areas in ways that promote a higher standard of excellence.

Q. Welcome Sheri, tell us about yourself and how you planned on coming up with the Exponential Living program? What’s the audience you have in mind, i.e. who benefits the most from this program?

Exponential Living is what I strive for everyday. Over the last 20 years, I have counseled and guided others to experience Exponential Living.  The focus is on high achievers and A-Type personalities, but the principles can be applied by everyone.  Also, high achievers are not defined by their economic status or job title; these are people who set goals for themselves and their families and work daily to accomplish those goals.

The people who benefit most from the Exponential Living methods are those “committed to the sacrifice” and that apply the principles daily.  This also includes people who are open to living in their own P.O.W.E.R. (Perspective.  Ownership.  Wisdom.  Engagement.  Reward) and knowing “Who They Are” rather than just focusing on  “What they Do.”

Q. How does your Exponential Living program benefit those in career transition, especially since they are dissatisfied with their present career or job and seek advice on a meaningful and satisfying career?

I must admit that, over the years, this has been where Exponential Living really applies, starting with myself.  Fourteen years ago, I was “living my dream.” I had worked over five years to secure a job at a record label and after finally getting that job, I was at one of the top labels in the industry, working with and guiding the careers of the biggest recording artists in the world. I was a few weeks away from being promoted to Vice President and making a mid six-figure income, but I resigned!  I had accomplished and excelled at THAT dream for my life.  Also, as much as I loved my job, I was not happy with my life.  I always knew I wanted to be a wife, mother, and entrepreneur. I couldn’t allow this level of success, my comfort level with my job, or my fears to stop me from transitioning out of this job and into the next phase of my life.

I used the nine methods outlined in my Exponential Living program to successfully endure the challenges and enjoy the benefits of making this significant change.  I have worked with others who have transitioned careers, stopped working “a job,” and begun living their passion (job, career, or opportunity).

The process isn’t easy, but with consistency and faith, your reward is Exponential Living.

 Q. What according to you are the major distractions that take us away from our long term goals?

There are several things I know that are major distractions:

1. Success
2. Contentment
3. Fear
4. The voice between our ears
5. Lack of commitment to the sacrifice
6. Not listening to the “right” people and not creating a circle of positive influence
7. Lack of belief in our own P.O.W.E.R.

 Q. What according to you are the secrets of having a satisfying career?

First, I believe it starts with defining success for yourself.  Success is not only defined by how much money you make and how high you rise on the corporate ladder. There are many people who are unhappy or feel like they haven’t achieved success, which keeps them from feeling satisfied because they haven’t stopped to define their own success.  I have achieved everything I set out to do at this point in my life. It wasn’t until this year that I removed myself from feeling unsatisfied and unaccomplished with my life.  I finally stopped and honestly looked at my life, what I have accomplished, and who I am as a person. I realized I was very happy and satisfied with my life.

There are still many things that I am focused on accomplishing. However, what I desire to achieve in the future will no longer rob me of the joy and satisfaction I have in the present.  I no longer stress about tomorrow or fret over yesterday, but I enjoy the gifts I have today, which is my present.

Q. There are many job seekers who have been out of job for years and struggling to reenter the workforce, how can they maintain their sanity and focus in the troubled economic times that we see with more layoffs and less hiring?

There is no easy answer to this question because the realities and hardships of not being able to provide the basic needs for yourself and your family is one of the hardest life issues we can face.  As an entrepreneur, I am “unemployed” every morning until I secure my next contract.  My company has experienced long periods (years) of having none to very few clients. During these times, I could barely and, at times, couldn’t, provide for my family.  My home was headed into foreclosure and the car was weeks away from being repossessed. Some days, I had to make the choice: “Do I put gas in my car to drive to meet with potential clients or do I buy groceries for my family?”

Even though I lost many material things during these times, I never lost the most important things, and I didn’t waiver in my faith, hope, and belief that  this to shall pass.” I knew that I would find the job/clients that would allow me to change my financial circumstances. I didn’t waiver in my perseverance and commitment to research and preparation for honing and learning new skills, maximizing every opportunity that presented itself to me.

I stayed open to all opportunities.

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It is tough to strike a balance between work and family life and Mika tells her story in an honest and straightforward way. In fact, it is just not Mika’s story so many full-time moms around the world would relate to the daily struggles and pains that we all go through trying to have it all – or just trying to maintain a balance in our personal and professional lives.

Mika’s story relates poignantly to any working mom’s journey of growing, learning and the struggles to achieve a balance between work and personal life.
And we all connect with it easily. I admired Mika for this statement in her book: “Your job can be a big part of who you are, but it shouldn’t be the whole package. Your family and relationships should be central, but they needn’t be front and center at all times.” Wouldn’t you agree?

Discussions, blogs, articles, books when talking about the work-life balance suggest not to “have it all”, you have to give some to get some, but many women that we see around have done “all things at once”. To have a busy high flying career, a family life and a healthy marriage; but all of this comes with a trade-off – some give and take as you miss out on the kids schedules, miss out on being part of their lives when they want to turn back and say “look mommy, I did this”. For a woman managing a high flying career and family with young kids is mighty tough. Going through one mad scramble after another we miss out on the overall goals and objectives of our existence.

Mika says: “Later on, going over this frantic period in my life, trying to understand my impulse and motivation, I began to realize that women sometimes make life-altering career decisions with a kind of gun to their heads. We put ourselves in these false do-or-die scenarios that leave us thinking if we don’t overextend ourselves, or push, push, push after opportunities when they appear, that we’ll never accomplish our goals or rise in the estimation of our peers. That was me, there was the CBS night shift, only I failed to consider that I’d already accomplished my primary goals; I was married to an amazing man, with a beautiful baby girl and a career I loved.”

See a video here as Mika talks about her book.

We all have stories of our lives but not all of us can or have shared it to encourage or intrigue others to a discussion on how difficult it is for a working mother to aspire for career promotions and work hard to keep the family together. Love you Mika for sharing and inspiring – great book that many working moms all over the world will enjoy reading and learning that it is great to slow down once in a while but also sometimes “shedding your identity as a professional can be as damaging as holding it too close.”

MIKA BRZEZNSKI is a co-host of “Morning Joe” and an MSNBC anchor. She will also co-host the new WABC New York radio show, “Joe & Mika,” which plans to go national next year. Brzezinski also reports on “NBC Nightly News” and is an alternating news anchor for “Weekend Today.”Prior to joining MSNBC, Brzezinski was an anchor of the “CBS Evening News Weekend Edition” and a CBS News correspondent who frequently contributed to “CBS Sunday Morning” and “60 Minutes.” In September 2001, she became CBS’s principal “Ground Zero” reporter for the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

Get this book at: Amazon

(Please Note: I have not been paid to write this review, it is a sincere opinion and my wish to present the readers of this blog to get to know good books that bring value to day to day work life and overall improve our strengths)

The companies and employers have to facilitate the working women and working mothers with the freedom of choice thus enabling them to bring more stability to the society.

Women have a major role in shaping the society and the future, if the employers have to help in building a better future for us all the power of choice in employment must be available to every working mother.
To attain freedom and satisfaction in life, flexibility in work and family life is a must.

Freedom comes from choice, the ability to choose what works best for us. The companies and future employers have to provide that choice it must be a policy for the companies who believe in the freedom of choice.

For some families the mothers have a choice to work or not though for much of the middle class all round the world and for single mothers this is a not a choice it is a requirement a daily struggle to meet the ends meet or take care of the financial needs of a family.

Our workplace today is not conducive and non-supporting to women who want to manage their family and career. Why is it so that a woman has to rethink her priorities to rejoin their career after motherhood?
What can the government and the future workplace culture do to not only make the transition back to workplace easier but also not to let women opt out of their careers in the first place?

A major shift in perspective of employers is required. Some of the companies in the 21st century have taken legitimate steps to further this cause and help women with flexibility at work but this needs to be a major movement not only in one country but elsewhere in the developing countries where the situation would be at similar crossroads soon enough.

In an interesting survey carried by Sylvia Ann Hewlett in 2001, she quotes in an article:
“Thirty-three percent of high-achieving women are childless at ages 41-55, and this figure rises to 42 percent in corporate America and 43 percent in academe.”

Could this be related to the work pressure or pressures of a demanding career? A full time career and the busyness of life have kept many a women from delaying motherhood to a later stage in their lives. Women delay having a child because they know or believe that their career could be at a standstill or somehow perish if they started a family. Could this scenario change if the choices are available to women upfront? This can change if the women know that getting back in to the workforce is not a struggle anymore. Or if the mothers want to work part-time and flex-time they know that they would be welcome and not be as apprehensive as we are today.

The revolution is already happening, the freedom to make a choice for your career is with you. But it is also the responsibility of the employers in this century to step forward and be a part of the revolution and support the demand of working flexible hours and part-time through programs that support women – not only in one country but all through the world efforts are still needed on war footing to empower women and thereby to help strengthen the society.

What needs to change in workplace policies are the options and freedom to choose to work flexible hours, to have and maintain a good work-life balance for a stable family and workplace environment.

By providing such choices we are empowering the society – towards balance and happiness.

The Equal Opportunities Commission (EOC) report, Sex and Power: Who Runs Britain? 2007, says, “asking for flexible working still spells career death for too many women in today’s workplace, and as a consequence women with caring responsibilities all too often have to ‘trade down’ to keep working. Extending the right to ask for flexible working to everyone in the workplace would change that culture and enable more women to reach the top“.

Slowing Down is Important
In a work-life balance speech by Maria Shriver, California’s first lady says, “Follow your passion but slow down.” This advice comes, she said, “after operating my life at a thousand miles an hour.”
She’s now trying to live her life in the present. “What I’m trying to do,” she said, “is not do a lot of stuff like this.”

Get Creative and be Strong
Stephen Covey asks all to be creative, to be strong on what you want and ready to adapt. See Stephen Covey talk about work-life balance here http://www.brightcove.com/title.jsp?title=5743489

Meditation helps achieve Balance
Deepak Chopra, acknowledged as one of the world’s greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, says “Regular practice of the meditation technique known as Primordial Sound Meditation helps establish inner quietness in life, providing access to creativity and enabling us to make life-affirming choices.”
Meditation is a vital cornerstone of Chopra Center teachings. Meditation has been proven to reduce stress, lessen anxiety, and bring balance into work-life.

Reducing your Work Hours does not mean Working Inefficiently
As much as cutting back on your work hours can help in achieving more balance in your life, it also cuts back on the stress that we build up by working long hours and spending less time with family. Ellen Galinsky, president and co-founder of Families and Work Institute, says, “Meet with your manager and ask to have metrics to judge your performance. In other words, help your boss see that hours don’t equal performance.”

Learn to say “No”
When work overpowers family life, or even vice versa, learning to say “no” to the stress builders is essential to obtain peace and improve efficiency. Beth DuPree, CEO and medical director of the Comprehensive Breast Care Institute at DSI of Bucks County, told a group of business women, “The tiny word (no) is important to achieve balance in life.”

Related Post:
In the Quest of a Satisfying Life and Career

Now since we all agree by what these professionals say, what does work-life balance mean to you or how are you best achieving it today?

First let’s clarify the definitions for flexible working hours. According to the US Department of Labor :
A flexible work schedule is an alternative to the traditional 9 to 5, 40-hour work week. It allows employees to vary their arrival and/or departure times. Under some policies, employees must work a prescribed number of hours a pay period and be present during a daily “core time.” The Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) does not address flexible work schedules. Alternative work arrangements such as flexible work schedules are a matter of agreement between the employer and the employee (or the employee’s representative).

See the website of The Department of Labor for information and statistics on numerous surveys, published articles and reports on the subject.

According to the definition of Handbook on Alternative Work Schedules:
Flexible hours (also referred to as “flexible time bands”) means the times during the workday, workweek, or pay period within the tour of duty during which an employee covered by a flexible work schedule may choose to vary his or her times of arrival to and departure from the work site consistent with the duties and requirements of the position. (See 5 U.S.C. 6122(a)(2).)

Flexible work schedule (FWS) means a work schedule established under 5 U.S.C. 6122, that –

(1) in the case of a full-time employee, has an 80-hour biweekly basic work requirement that allows an employee to determine his or her own schedule within the limits set by the agency; and

(2) in the case of a part-time employee, has a biweekly basic work requirement of less than 80 hours that allows an employee to determine his or her own schedule within the limits set by the agency.

Flexible working hours for women proves as a blessing for most working mothers, but how many of the companies around have written policies on the same?

To help curtail the future labor shortage it would be an attractive proposal to the different IT and other non-IT companies to attract working mothers who would be more productive at work with flexible working hours and maintaining a healthy life-work balance.

Would we see more and more companies in future offering flex-time schedules in their benefit packages? It certainly could be predicted, but large scale implementation of policies and a shift in the future working styles might still face a few hurdles.

I feel it is more for the woman to present herself in a light of an efficient worker when demanding or requesting a flex time schedule at work. Present your case that highlights your ability to work better and more efficiently when working in a balanced environment which provides enrichment and clearly divides your time between family and work.

And unlike earlier reports that warned that women who ask for flexible work arrangements will experience decreased earning power, the women surveyed who used flexible work arrangements reported financial success: their incomes were no different than those of women who did not employ flexible work arrangements.

Source of the above (italicized) information is from an article in American Digital Networks.

More and more of the Fortune 100 companies are implementing flexible work schedules in their work culture.
According to a report:
Widespread improvements among FORTUNE’s “100 Best Companies to Work For” include more flexible schedules and telecommuting.
The most dramatic policy changes over the last decade concern improved work-family benefits:
- 72 offer job sharing programs today, compared with only 18 a decade ago.
- 79 now offer compressed work weeks on a year-round, regular basis, compared with 25 companies 10 years ago.
- 82 provide telecommuting opportunities today, compared with only 18 in 1998.

A survey by Flexible Resources of more than 500 women seeking flexible work arrangements found that 64 percent of them either quit or were planning to quit because of lack of work hour flexibility. What was alarming was 59 percent of these women never asked their employers to modify their work schedules because they assumed they would be denied or lose stature.

Younger women are more assertive in seeking flexible work arrangements than older women; 72 percent of women between the age of 25 and 35 were willing to request an FWA compared to only 30% of the respondents of women aged 36 to 45.

Among those who requested a flexible work arrangement and were told “no,” reasons for the refusal ran the gamut in the following priority:

• We can’t give it to you and not the others (52%)
• You will not be available to others (48%)
• We have never done it before (24%)
• You won’t be as productive as when you worked full time (8%)
• Your job is not conducive to flexible hours (5%)
• There is too much work to do (5%)
• It wouldn’t fit into a team atmosphere (5%)

Question: What are your priorities as a working woman?
Flexible work hours / Telecommuting / Part-time work / or all of these?

While reading an article on the internet, I ran into these words:
“….and I can tell she has work-life balance (whatever that means )”

Hmm, this person does not perhaps understand or just ridicules the concept of work life balance. You guessed it – obviously a male writer!

Or just on second thoughts, we all talk about it a lot right? But do we really understand it completely when we want work-life balance in our lives?

We have the whole colony of working females around the world and some males as well (hey, Click – the movie, was a good one where the work-life balance features through a male perspective!) discussing this topic, at work, at discussion boards or just about everywhere. Note again – mainly females.

What do you have to say about this report?
In a survey of 2,443 women college graduates released by her center and the Harvard Business Review, 35 percent of respondents thought they would be penalized for taking advantage of their employer’s work-life policies.Citing other research, Ms. Hewlett says about two-thirds of professional women who stop working would stay if they had a “recognized and respectable” way to scale back.

Is it because women are talking about it and are demanding the same as well, the men are largely shying away from it – is it because demanding a balanced lifestyle (well again what it means to you) does not show professionalism? Or is there something else? Why are men not talking about work-life balance as much or even as much as a fraction of how many women are?

Read this recent interesting report on this topic in the WSJ by Jaclyne Badal.
Companies pitch flextime as ‘macho’ to retain women. Here’s a novel approach to keeping women in the work force: Focus on men….. Many of the ideas aren’t new, but it’s the first time they have been aggressively pitched to men. Encouraging men to consider flexible work arrangements is a way of “making it legitimate,” says Sylvia Ann Hewlett, president of the Center for Work-Life Policy, a New York research and advocacy group.

And interestingly in the search (or rather Googling) for the correct definition of work-life balance to Email this guy, I did find a website by this very domain name! Let’s see how it defines this issue:
Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.

So if I may ask again the readers of this post:
What does work-life balance mean to you?
And we will follow-up again with a compilation in the New Year.